At least make sure they are 18
Why
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
