Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
