Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
