I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
