Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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