Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
