Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
