my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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