oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
