I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is Oprah even human
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
