hotel room ftw
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
