and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
