Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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