God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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