careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
