If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
