Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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