I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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