Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
