I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
