Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
