Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
