well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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