whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
