i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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