So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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