i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
