And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
