dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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