Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sorry about my life...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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