hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
