I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
