I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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