I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
