I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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