ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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