HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
