he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
