Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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