im so drunk with asians
where?
always
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
