You made me cry and you don't even care
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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