turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We left an ass print on the piano.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
