this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
