We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
