Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
