I want to stick my p in your. b.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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