did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
