did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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