she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We have started to decorate penises.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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