3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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